It's been a good couple weeks since my last post, and I'm sorry. It's been quite eventful at times, especially the weekends. The significance of this latin phrase is that there is none. Basically, I just like to say that nobody does anything with a completely sober mind, even if they are sober. They are drived by a force that intoxicates them, whether it's passion, love, or rage.
Last weekend was my father's birthday. He just turned 35. Congradulations! But I must say, father, with the utmost respect, that you are a very very grumpy young person. You act 60 more than you do 35, and no one believes it when you say your 31. I love you!
So for his birthday, we went to Naples. Saturday we hung out at the resort and played in the pool basically all day, then at night we had a fabulous party in one of the rooms. We danced intoxicated. Even I did, but I wasn't drinking. I was intoxicated with the need to feel whole. The need to feel a part of something and to get out of my mind for once. Then we went to chill out at the pool, but only a few of us, because my father went to bed early with my step mom. Sitting in that pool chair, staring at the stars, I wondered if anyone else saw the beauty I saw, and for as much as I wish I could have stared at the cosmos longer, my father called me to come back to the room to sleep. It was 2:34am. I was not tired, just feeling alone.
On sunday, we went to the beach. I almost forgot how beautiful the beaches were there. And I have to admit, the ice cream cake tasted better today than the night before. The sun and the beauty made everything better. I didn't even care that the kids almost drowned me! (Those dang gooselings!!)
It was a wonderful day, and I wish it could have lasted forever.
Monday wasn't great. My step mom wanted me to babysit and I didn't think it was fair. She always asked me if I was ok with babysitting, and I always say "yeah, that's fine" because I'm a nice person. I never want to be expected to do something, especially something that I don't get paid for doing. See, last summer my step mom told me she was going to pay me to babysit Melanie (my little sister) and Denise (her little sister) and I never saw a dime, so of course I was mad that she wanted to leave them here so I can babysit them. I'm not crazy. I don't want to be taken advantage of, because I have been, and it's not fun. You tell me, was I crazy to tell her no when she wanted me to babysit without asking?
Of course she was mad at me and ignored me the rest of the day.
This weekend was fun too, after my father got the boat completely fix. I fell asleep at the beach waiting. It was a nice nap. We boated at night and we had a fabulous time!!
Yesterday, we took the boat out for the whole day. By the end of the day, I was exhausted. We went out for dinner and afterwards, the girls asked if they could sleep over my dad's house. At this time, I then offered to babysit, thinking my step mom was over what happened last week, but I was wrong. She laughed as if I was joking, and I will admit, I was very pissed. When I told her that I like to be asked to babysit or offer to, I don't mind and she said "no, I don't want to talk about it," so I left to the car. That was very rude, in my opinion, and I felt very humiliated. I wanted to do something nice for her, because she's done nice things for me, and she shot me down by laughing in my face. That is the last nice thing I'll ever offer her if all she's going to do is laugh at me.
Today, I spoke to Josh Rutland for the first time in weeks. See, yesterday I texted him about a dream I had of him and how much I was sorry, and he texted back "It's over. Leave me alone. You messed up, deal with it." I forced myself the whole day not to cry, and magically I did. This morning he texted me, apologising for what he had said, and I appreciate that. But then I also found out that he had a girlfriend, and he never told me. I wonder why it was so easy for him to move on and I still fight the urge to cry when someone talks about him. Maybe he is right and I'm just too damn emotional. He said he was going to give me a second chance, but I don't know if that's ever going to happen because there's no way in hell he's going to break up with his girlfriend for me, and I don't expect him to. He was just saying it to make me feel better, but I feel worse.
So, I think I'm going to go to my grandmother's house or something to get my mind off of everything. I'll even get to see my son Shark again. I bet he's gotten huge. I want to find happiness, so hopefully I will.
Today's hot topic: Trolling
For those of you who don't know, trolling is a term used by people online when they are mean to other members of a website or message board, and such. I've experienced trolling first hand a few years back when I used a Green Day message board, and this girl, I honestly can't remember her name, started bashing me for no reason at all, saying that I was invading her conversation and such like that. I brushed it off, because it doesn't really mean anything. It's just a feud online.
But then I was the one trolling now on Vampire Freaks. Here, I'm just going to use fake names to protect those involved since I don't really know them, but basically there was a girl, Jessica, and she posted a video about how she's pregnant and this guy, Jason, left or something and messed up her life. She said that she was going to call the cops on him and charge statutory rape if he doesn't call her. Me, and a lot of other people, started to bash her, and she retaliated with a really bizzar story about how she grew up, which it mostly sounds fabricated for sympathy. Then she made a video of her crying and apologising to this guy because he wouldn't pick up the phone. Of course we all made fun of her because of that too, and in my signature, I have an icon of her crying, because to me, it was just pathetic. In my opinion, I don't understand why he would go back to her, but I think he did? Anyways, that's not the point, because with Jessica gone, I was the next victim. Sure, I deserved to have gotten yelled at because of my innappropriate use of emotes on that site, but damn, Heather, as I will call her, was quick to try to ban me from the cult. For whatever reason I was the administrator, and of higher rank than her, I don't know why, so she couldn't. Instead, I got demoted and now I'm just a member, but I didn't appreciate that she mad a poll asking if she SHOULD ban me. Lucky for me, everyone who voted said no. They just all said that I should be off staff, and I agreed. I didn't care if I was a staff member for that cult. All the most active members are trolls.
The most interesting part of this though, is that my friend had a conversation and apparently she was threatened to stop trolling or she was going to get deleted and banned from the website!! Everyone, including me, that were friends with her laughed and backed her up, but there were a couple that were like "ohhh trolling is stupid, you should really stop!" And in all reality, trolling will never stop. People get pissed off at people all the time. People troll online, people troll in real life, everyone is a troll. Even the nicest of people trolled once or twice, so this is where I say that people need to grow a pair and get over it. People are mean. Even your friends are mean. Family members are mean. You can't expect everyone to be nice. Yes, if you're a victim of trolling, it hurts, but just know that you, in some way, shape, or form, are a troll too.
Movie Review!!
So the weekend after my last post, we saw a movie!
Despicable Me
Rating: 8 and 3/4 out of 9 stars
This movie is about an evil villan who adopts 3 girls to assist in his evil plan. As he got to know the girls, he started to love them and be a father towards him. There's also another evil guy that's trying to steal his plan. That's basically the story line without giving up too much information. I really want you guys to go see it!!!! Sorry if my reviews suck, but this was a really funny movie, so you sould go see it and laugh your ass off!
Relationship status: Lonely
Birthday:
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