Why does depression hurt?

Before I talk about how depressed I am, first I'm going to bitch and moan about lunch today. So a couple weeks ago, Mrs. Breymeyer took up my phone. That isn't such a big deal, except I've paid $45 already since i started high school. Yeah, it's outrageous to pay $15 dollars for your phone back. Anyways, I didn't eat lunch today because I had lunch detention. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?! I didn't know Mrs. Breymeyer gave me lunch detention, that's bullshit and she knows it.

But to be honest, it was kind of entertaining and I completed all my chemistry work instead of eating because I'm too busy studying for my World History AP Exam. BLAHHHH!!!! I have to study human history from, like, 8000 B.C.E to the present time. That's alot of history and I'm about to burn out. On top of that, Mrs. Kelly has been giving out more homework than usual. Stupid Algebra 2!!!! It's almost the end of the school year; I shouldn't have to do this much work.

On top of all the school work, I've been more depressed than usual. I think it started with Anthony Wardlaw and how he fooled me, but that's not all of it. Josh Rutland called me around midnight last night and it was really sad. It was really late, so I barely remember the conversation, but I know I wanted to cry. He loves me so much, and he wont just move on. I'm not good for him. Him and I are just so vastly different, and that's why we worked for as long as we did, but he's just in a different place than I am, and he deserves to be happy. Anthony says I should just be a bitch, but he's the first guy to truly love me. Don't ask me why I'm throwing that away. I'm just stupid.

What also depresses me is Courtney Simmons. She is my best friend (Like Lauren Mikeska is) and she is like my Wife. She means alot to me, and it doesn't help that I have a small crush on her.

If I didn't state this before, I'm bisexual.

Anyways, she means alot to me, and I want her to trust me and everything. The thing is, I feel like I'm losing her, and I don't like that at all. Every time I try to hang out with her, she has something else to do. She blames her mom, but she always blames her mom. It's her little brother and sister's (Marky and Heaven) birthday party Saturday adn I really want to go so I can hang out with her like we used to. And, Anthony can finally apologize in person for what he did to me. I believe we'll just be better off as friends. I can't go through that again.

Which reminds me, Anthony promises that he'll never do that again. I dont know how much i can trust that, but I will. We're just friends after all. It's not like we were dating and he cheated on me. Now we will never date.

Well, never say never. But for now, we won't.

I just want the school year to end so then I can have a fun summer and start over next year. I'll be a junior and scream "HELL YES!!! I'M ALMOST OUT OF THIS STUPID SCHOOL!"
But honestly, I'll miss the idiots, the homos, and the bitches I call friends. They are all near and dear to my heart.

Relationship Status: Sadly Single
Birthday: September Twenty-Fifth
Contact Info for all the people who wish to speak to me personally:
E-mail: cookiekid93@yahoo.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nevermakeawish
Twitter: www.twitter.com/nevermakeawish
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Phone Number: Ask!